ugh, why why why why?
 I was very calm yesterday, I mean if you can't act like everything is okay and there isn't a stick up your ass then speak up and be a man. In my family you learn how to find your feelings and pretend everything is good or just leave. I get mad/jealous VERY quickly, but I know its reasonable for the other side of the argument to tell their part before I get all caught up and make assumptions. 
I just, I don't want to go too much intro this so I'll say it very generalized sorta, a girl knows I like this person, but not really like but yeah, and she does everything to bug me about it. Normal teenager crap, right? Well I was like whatever b/c its just a crush, they go by quickly and it's only high school it's not like I'm ever going to tell this guy anything or wish for anything, but UGH she just went over board the past few weeks and yesterday I lost it. sure I was sick and should have stayed home, but I started this, and truthfully I know this whole situation is my fault, but I'm very, you know, I forgot the word. Just maybe what I did yesterday went a little too far, but I like being right.
And this whole this with me deleting my twitter and Facebook, I needed to. There was cyber bullying or bad things. I just thought what I was doing online could make an obsession with needing to know what people are doing and how I use to be such an outgoing person how and it got ruined. I was traumatized I can't do normal stuff, like white cars bother me, after that guy started to follow me all the time. But we won't go into that.

I just wanted to say write it isn't your fault i deleted my facebook and twitter, I just need time away from all this and I don't feel good, emotionally, knowing that I should have never come between what you two had. 
(sometimes I wish I could a certain person to read this blog, but he has more important things like her, and his college life.)

sorry this is messy and makes no sense, but I need things off my chest and i'll probably explain most of these things later on.

so here is a gif of TOP, my baby.