I Try, To Only Look at You

So you all know the song "Only Look at Me," right? No? Go look it up, but before that happened you have to understand, there are about 4 versions:


1. (The Original) Taeyang - Only Look at Me
2. G-Dragon - Only Look at Me Part 2
3. G-Dragon & Taeyang - Only Look at Me (Shine a light concert)
4. Minzy - Only Look at Me


And that is my problem, I LOVE ALL OF THEM. I can't possibly pick one to be my favorite. Maybe if they all did the song together, all three of them. I was actually paying attention to the lyrics for the first time, and this song is sad. 


I've been cheated on before, and I have been a cheater, so look at this song from both sides, killed me mentally. Only because, you never expect them to catch on, you believe you really love them, or that they really love you, but if either of you did, other people in this world wouldn't matter.


so think about it, which version do you like the best?

I Try, But It's Fun

The Secret Life Of An American Teenager

So, How may of you have seen this show? Come' on, we all know you have at least seen a commercial for it. I personally love this show, with a passion. I'm not rich, I don't have cable, but I have netflix and I am on season four. I'm not close to my family, but when I like something that means a lot to me they get into it also. Like BIGBANG as an example, my dad(so i hardly talk to mostly just school, okay only about school) never knew what type of music I liked or even alone one band that me and my sister didn't have in common, but then I stumbled across a boy named G-Dragon, and know not only my sister knows, but my whole family, and my brother even knows sings some parts or Knock Out or even Fantastic Baby. I got a lot of people at my school into BIGBANG, but enough about them, see everything about me is related to BIGBANG. I forgot what my point was about this post, but I really like this show, and its been a while since I've liked a show besides Korean Dramas. So my whole family knows about my oppression with this show. So I'm happy I'm opening up to my family and starting to let them know that type of things that I like. Even if it a show or a band, most amazingly perfect band in the world.

I Try, But I Don't Want To

You all know that one Kpop band Girls Generation, right? And not to long ago they had that song twinkle(Big Bang has a song called Twinkle Twinkle). Well I've never listen to it before, I really don't like their music. Its not because I like 2NE1, doesn't mean I can't like Girls Generation, but I just do not like their music.


So when that song came out a guy(that I like) told me he heard it, because he thought I liked every band that had to do with Kpop. I was really happy, the I was like ewww, but I can't judge them, because I've never heard the song or seen the music video. Although I really hope it isn't like the "The Boys", where there was no boys in the music video, I got my hopes up for nothing.


So this is where the weird thing comes, I don't like SNSD, but I adore Yonna.
Only because she was in the show "You are My Destiny." OmJI did I love that show. I don't like her as much as I like Gummy, CL, or even Dara, but more the Bom... I like Bom, but it's confusing.
Maybe in a couple of years I try giving SNSD another chance, but come on I'm not an anti-fan, I think they're doing great for themselves, and could do with a person like me, plus I don't even like SM entertainment...
enough said

I Try to Stop, But I Just Can't

So, I'm sure everyone knows about 2NE1's tour? Am I right? I live in L.A. and I can't go to their showing here. I have no money. I was saving money to get a good seat for BIGBANG's, but I feel sad that I can't go to 2NE1s. I really wish I could go, but I can't. 

So this is where my problem starts. I cut. I haven't in a while, but I cried when I found out i couldn't get them. My sister, Dad, even grandma tried to get them for me, but I wasn't satisfied. I felt as if they didn't try hard enough. and what did I do, I sat back and expected that they should have gotten them.

I became sick with myself. How did I let it get to me? Sure my sister was also sad, she is a big fan of them, but we didn't have the money.

That night, i grabbed the first thing that was sharp, and cut myself. You see I've always been careful to hide the cuts, but these were deep and on my legs, so now its the summer and I have to hide them, while wearing pants and my family thinks I'm crazy. 

I didn't mean for this to happen it just did, since when did I start being so greedy. I never kept my hopes up or even thought that I would be able to see my idols ever. Now I feel as if I don't deserve to see them, that this is my punishment. And my scars will be the proof. I don't want to go through the same thing with BIGBANG.

So, now I wish I can put that to my past, but I know it will take a while. A person can't recover over night, but I can't do it. I'm making excuses, I have five new cuts since that day, but I know it isn't the fact that i couldn't get tickets that made me cut, it was an excuse so I could take the easy way out, but why can't I stop?

I Try, But I Can't

You do not understand how much I wish to fuck this guy. This picture just makes me so fucken hot. I've always wanted him, I know I said that TOP is my bias, but if I Jiyong in person. I'd try to make him mine in a heartbeat.

Fucken Tease 

I Try to Like Other Music

I'm not going to lie guys, I'm VERY bias when it comes to kpop group. I only like groups from the YG company. The only two that aren't are C.N. Blue and Miss A.

I promise I won't make this Blog another fan blog, but you got to admit, They are the best.

I Try To Write

My style of writing is amateur. Sure I've been writing for 2 years, but that's it. I haven't tried in any way to test my limits. So my writing is the same. I've tried writing fluff and smut, but i fail hopelessly. So maybe I will try here ... testing my limits.