It's January 8th, 2024. I didn't get a car for my 18th bday, so I still don't know how to drive. I have not finished college. I need a new job. I'm happier than I was at 15, but way too stressed for my age now. Not many of my interest have changed except that I love Thai BL now (omg im sorry). I love my sibling and sometimes my parents are chill.

Telling myself I won't eat. And that it's okay. I have drinks to get me through the day.

The crying myself to sleep "starts" again. Oh god how much I wish I was okay, or at least good at pretending I am.

The nightmares are back and they're worse. I got no sleep last night. And my emotions are all messed up. And I can't eat.

Why can't we be normal.
I just want to tell him the truth then maybe he would know the fear i live in.

hey can you guess whse life must be fucked up again? and i'm sorry i havent been on in a while and the fist time i am in a while its from my phone and it wont even let my use right puncuation. my life is a mess right now. i got a journal and everything but it doesnt help. i need to know someone is reading this and knows im mentally hurting. i feel like writing again, whitch is never a good thing.

So I'm obsessed with Supernatural

and watched like a clip from the show Daria and her voice is JUST how I imaged it

and at my age I REALLY don't want a boyfriend, just saying.

They are a distraction!